Self-harm is the act of deliberately inflicting pain and damage to one's own body. Self-harm most often refers to cutting, burning, scratching, and other forms of external injury; it can, however, also include internal or emotional harm.
Whether it's depression, trauma, abuse, or neglect, we all begin to deal with our worlds in very different ways. Over time anxiety, anger, and sadness will build up through the stress of everyday life. Without proper support systems or healthy coping skills in life, these feelings and emotions cannot be expressed in a successful way. When we begin to suppress these emotions, they will find a way out one way or another. Self-harm is one of those ways.
The phrase "Negative attention is better than no attention at all," is used commonly to explain our self-destructive behaviors in today's world. In a world where we are so easily forgotten, we often rebel in "societies ways" just to get our feelings noticed. Well, that same natural instinct we have to "rebel" against a society that refuses to accept us, will in fact do the same "rebelling," when we refuse to accept ourselves.
The reality is, when it comes to "Life," you feel how you feel. In the moment, in an experience, during every interaction, you feel how you feel. These feelings may be rational in the moment, they may not, but they are yours to process however you choose. If you ignore them, however, they will come back to "haunt" you, and this leads to "self-harm."
"I'd rather feel... than nothing at all," is a phrase I frequently hear from those who "self-harm." Another favorite is, "At least this is a... I can control." Lost so deep in one's own pain, they begin to feel "numb" to the experience, so they can survive in it. People, however, are also self-motivated by nature, so whatever the person holds as "true" to themselves, becomes their reality. A "pain" inside yourself that you refuse to face, will be replaced with a "pain" you feel you can control. It gives us "reason" for the pain inside ourselves we can't seem to overcome.
We're told to "find ourselves" to find there's not always a "place" for us. We're told to work hard and fight for what we want to still lose it in the end. We're told if we're honest and true to our values and beliefs, we will get what we deserve in "Life," and then it doesn't always work out "that way," and it hurts. And it "breaks" us, until we find a way to "cope" with this new reality presented.
Life will "destroy" you if you let it. It doesn't "care" about you, and it will go on with or with out you. "Self-harm" becomes our way of controlling whatever that "destruction" is. However, that's about as productive as using sandpaper to heal a rash... you're just gonna make it worse. You have to face the pain, whatever it is, this happened to you. But it does not define your future and you can take control of your own pain. Break down if you need to; make changes in your life; forgive yourself for any mistakes you feel you've made and accept a past you can't change. You need to find the passion that drives you forward and remember that life is chaos. But "beauty" is found in chaos. It's subjective clarity, during moments in our life, that move us in the direction we wish to go.
You need to face the beauty in your pain. The deep, fiery, passion fueling the "numb" feeling consuming your soul. You need to grieve the loss of innocence you once had in that passion, believing it could never cause this much pain. And you need to redefine that passion for you now, with experience added for you, so you can grow. We become self-destructive, because we think it gives us some control over this pain. It doesn't. You're hurt. It happened. You must feel it and process through this pain, or it will take over the part inside you that created the pain in the first place. You're the one who "cares" about whatever is causing you "pain." If you "care" about it so much, then "care" about it "right" and be good to yourself in life. You owe nothing to this world, and everything to possibility of what you can be become. You have to forgive yourself and others for the mistakes people will make in life, and leave anything you find "toxic" in your world behind, so you can move forward in "your life," and continue to grow.
Comments