Your future has no commitment to your past. You can work your whole life for one goal, and in a moment, make a choice that changes everything for you. You can reinvent yourself whenever you choose, because in reality, you don't answer to anybody. You have a "right" to breath; you have a "right" to survive; and you have a "right" to thrive. That's what "this world" actually promised you. How you do that is your choice, and the "right choice" for you, isn't written anywhere in history, until you live it. We spend so much of our lives, lost in our past, focused on what we can't change. Your future is still whatever you want it to be, because you haven't lived it yet.
"My past always comes back to haunt me" is the biggest lie we tell ourselves. The only way your past can "haunt" you, is if you keep going back to it. Your past happened, whatever it is, and that's reality. No matter what happened, for whatever reason, "what is" will always be "what is." Accept it, and simply move on. You may have dreamt, when you were 3 years old, that "someday you wanted to fly." But then you grew up and realized, if you wanted to fly, you'd need to have some form of wings. So take whatever "damage" you have now, accept it, and repair your broken wings.
You can "easily" take complete control of your future. You do this, simply, in "point-by-point" steps. You start by trusting yourself, because only you know who you truly are. You forgive yourself when you make mistakes, especially when they've been made with "your best intentions." Every choice you make in this world, is your own, and "trust" is the foundation in every relationship you will build. Next, you must "know" yourself. You are a unique individual. I, nor anyone else, can ever "find" who that is for you. You define it, and you design it, every day, as you grow. You must learn who you are, what you're capable of, and who you want to be in this world. Finally, you simply leave the rest behind.
The only person you "owe" anything to, in this world, is you. Your parents may have had "big dreams" for you, and "sacrificed so much" to get you here and "you just...." I don't care, that's "their problem." They shouldn't have set such "high expectations" for something they had no control over. Perhaps your guidance in life was "less than stable" and now you "don't have the same opportunities as others." I guess that sucks, but let's put them behind you, and focus on where YOU are in life now. Do you have "obligations" and "responsibilities" of life always getting in the way of... Unless these "responsibilities" are your own children, YOU are what's holding you back. Honestly, I personally believe even the children can't actually "hold you back," because you take them with you on your journey through that part of their life. And in today's world, "schooling" can be done to fit your life, not the other way around.
And so we're here, wherever you're at in life. Who are you? What do you want? What is holding you back from your dreams? Why are you letting it? You can't continue to live your life in a "stand still," simply because "it should be easier than this." If your life is too complicated for you, then you CAN uncomplicate it. Most will say, "this is all a great idea but..." I have bills to pay, and I can't get a decent job where I can actually enjoy life; and when they get the decent job, it doesn't allow them the time to enjoy their life. They keep trying to get their life in order but then A, B, and C get in the way, and I'm sorry but you're out of excuses here.
If you can't be happy in life "because you can't relax," then just relax. What's wrong with where your at and who you are? If you can't be happy because "everyone is always bringing you down," then be around other people that you actually enjoy. Go to activities you enjoy and find "your people." A house is nothing more than a structure people use for safety from the elements. We are the ones who have placed superficial value on it. Your "place" in life is however, with whomever and whatever you choose to make it.
You don't ever have to apologize for failing to meet someone else's expectations, nor do they have to apologize to you for having them. But if you do disagree, it's your choice to stay, or your choice to go, but you don't get to hold anyone else to your expectations of them either. This is your life to live, and it's up to you to decide how you are going to live it.
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